It finally came. That moment. That decision that the lord our savior jesus christ made. The morning when God took someone very important from me and made her another heavenly warrior. Never have I felt so empty inside in my life. But yet I feel very soothed as well. I know that she is in a better place, I could have never thought of anything greater to happen to her. If you don’t know my family background and from what goes on? then you won’t understand why I am mostly rejoicing then grieving. Grieve because I miss her dearly and its different not hearing that voice scolding and guiding us anymore in the house, but REJOICING because I know that she won’t have to deal with all the unfairness and drama that has been laid on her for no reason. I just hope that the family realizes that its time to wake up, because they just lost another person that kept the heathers in place for as long as possible. 

My mom, was the BEST fan I ever had. I have so much memories that I have in my heart and I just can’t stop smiling. That morning, when my dad called and told me, my heart felt like its been chipped. I grabbed ahold to my chest and squeezed it NOT because it was sore, but because it felt different. I was scared because i just didn’t have this feeling before. That whole day I just couldn’t stop crying. Typical right? I mean shit, my mom just went with jesus. But as days go by, im getting through. I miss her dearly but honestly? I couldn’t think of any better way for her to have it. This cancer has been giving my mom pain for the past four months and days go by while she was still here it really hurt me watching her suffer. 

Mom, I miss you. I really miss you alot. But im holding strong just for you. Just like you said in the hospice after that CRAZY wednesday night, “one spot left in line”. Go and fill it mom. GO. Stand in that line proud. We will be ok. My mom….haha….such memories. And as the only biological son in the family, IT IS HARD it really is. But like they say, “The lord will NEVER give us things we CAN’T handle. He won’t give us test and trials that he CAN’T get through neither.” When times are down and about, Ill always leave it in God’s hands. I will forever keep giving him praise and have trust in him. Because he will always love his children no matter what.

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths”

Proverbs 3:6

I believe that no matter what, a loss, a test and trial, a temptation, or a sin? Just keep asking him for that power and love. Repent. He is always there. shoot…he’s the one giving me strength right now.

I miss my mom so much. But i just have to stay strong and continue to make her proud. 

*I love you mom. Watch me, watch all of us grow. Imma take your place in this household and make sure the family is in tact. thank you so much for being by my side and teaching me what I need to learn in life. FOREVER you will be in my heart. Just like how you bash me to live the samaoan saying “Muamua le Atua” God FIRST, then parents, they myself. Forever mom. I love you*