I can’t concentrate with you keep on bashing me about the past….

I love you…i really do. Im your only biological son. And i know there was times before that i have been lazy. But you obviously know that it all changed. Your sick and you know it. You need to take care of yourself. Stop stressing on things. I can’t deal with your morning calls anymore because its not “good morning” anymore its either and expectation or a bash. Why? do you know that it hurts me? Do you know that putting me on lockdown kills me? You say I ka’a so’o too much…WHERE?! at school? how the hell do I do that? I can’t even go out with my friends…I didn’t even leave to play ball. Why can’t you TRUST me once? I know you love me, but geeze…dat was harsh today. Your voicemails just because practice was running late. Don’t take it out on me…take it out on your niece. Your favorite COUSIN’s daughter. I feel like quitting so it can just close that negative mouth of yours. Im hurt, im so hurt…and its sad because I know I will never ever get to tell you this in person because in our culture its “disrespectful” to tell our parents how we feel. I just can’t take it anymore…from now on? What ever you want just tell me….because I just can’t concentrate with you keep on bashing me about my past and how you ASSUME what im doing. You don’t know how I feel do you? you just think I don’t care huh?